house hunting a la portlandia

Where else but Portland would your potential new roommates have a pet pig? 

Or say things like (this woman was the cream of the crop for portlandiness):

>        “Oh, good, you’re a student—then I won’t have to talk with you” or

>        “I’m really into food.  I don’t like cooking; I do food projects” or

>        “[The current tenant] eats McDonald’s the whole time.  That freaks me out.  I don’t even know people who eat like that” or

>        “I found out that [previous tenants] were Mormons, and it really freaked me out.  I’m not judgemental normally, but I guess there are a lot of Mormons around” or

>        “I’m Native American and the Mormon thing freaks me out.  You know, the food” or

>        “I don’t like weed.  Well, yes, I do.  I’m from here.  As you’ll find out, we don’t care.  You know?  But I’ve had people move in who have weed cards and smoke all day long, and I’m like, that’s lame. [The current tenant] smokes, and I’m like whatever, but I run a kindergarten in my home and sometimes I’m like, shit, it smells like pot” etc. etc.

So, anyways, the quest has begun!   I’ve met people from a dozen houses, chatted away about my dreams and goals to perfect strangers, in the pursuit of that one perfect place, that one group of totally rad people (who never actually say “totally rad”), in other words, home. 

You can find anything you want on craigslist.  Houses, jobs, pets, dates, stuff... for your own personal entertainment, please check out Craigslist's Best-Of: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ and giggle for me.  If you're simply looking for housing, the world is your oyster.  Lots of -friendly people (insert noun: 420-, queer-, pet-, kid-, eco-, and—my own personal favorite—felony-friendly).

I'm looking for something not too housey-boring-homey, though.  Hell, I’m in Portland.  I could live with boring people anywhere I chose.  (I’m rather boring most of the time).  But I’ve got to take advantage of my time in Portland, goddammit, and find someplace great!

Has my search borne fruit?  I have found not one, but two awesome places (neither the pig people—who were, admittedly, super nice—nor the pot/kindergarten teacher, though; the two that I'm thinking of are much closer to the "normal" end of the scale—although, to repeat myself, they are have not reached "boring"), and now I just have to decide between the two.  If I were rich, and wanted to duplicate all my stuff, I would live at both places.  Lead a double life.  Have babies by both families. (OK, no; now the metaphor’s gone far enough.)  I’m supposed to decide today which place I want—wish me luck. (Not on the baby thing, obviously.)